Just Another Cup of Tea
by Sazerac
Summary: When our two main anti-heroes from each respective fandom come together for some tea. Flaming ensues...genius style.


**This is your obligatory spoiler warning, for both series ;)**

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**Just Another Cup of Tea**

by Sazerac

_"Does anybody think these people were just sitting around drinking tea?" - Condoleezza Rice_

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"Please," Hiyama Ren gestured. "Do take a seat."

Yagami Light took the pre-offered seat courteously, watching as Hiyama's female companion stepped forward to bring them refreshments. Sonoyama Mizuki filled each of their teacups as the two geniuses stared each other down, wondering who would turn away first.

And so they stared.

Takada Kiyomi glared at Sonoyama from her position behind her Lord. Shitara Haruhide adjusted his glasses from behind his own.

The two geniuses stared some more, but finally, Light broke the tension as he uncapped the sugar, not breaking their eye-contact.

"This place of yours is really quite nice," he commented idly, finally looking down as he added it to his drink. Not as much as Ryuzaki did - never that much - but just enough to lift the edge.

Hiyama added some milk to his, bypassing the sugar when Light was done and ignored it entirely. "Yes, isn't it? It once belonged to a man by the name of Phantomhive; he lent it to me after a _rather_ convincing 'session' in hypnosis."

Light nodded, almost understandingly. "I see, I see. And...about this _hypnosis_...that's what you use to achieve your means, yes?"

"Of course. There is nothing else that could have given me the opportunity to create a new world."

"Ah." Light took a sip of his tea. It was European; not exactly to his tastes, but certainly fitting for the scenery. "I suppose this is why many fans of my series presume that yours is nothing but a cheap, carbon copy."

Hiyama looked disinterested as he reached for a cookie. "Isn't it? Just because you use a _notebook_ owned by a _God of Death_, your _series_ has more fans."

Light didn't miss the subtle insult behind the words that pressed his Kira-Will-Sentence-You button. "At least I _have_ fans."

"Oh? Are you so sure about that?"

"I know that the author writing this now is a fan of mine, and out there are many more. _Your_ series has no followers to speak of."

Mikami Teru leaned over to whisper in his ear. "Authoress, my Lord. She is female."

Light ignored his correction (he was God, after all; everything he did was right), and approximately seventeen thousand kilometers from their present location a fangirl died.

Hiyama's face darkened. "Don't bring the author..._ess_ into this. She has no clue what she's writing anyway, or even how and why the two of us are able to exist and simultaneously carry out our respective plans, nor the reason why I have chosen the Phantomhive mansion despite her lack of knowledge concerning that series in the first place. Besides; she supports _me_ far more than she supports _you_."

"She _does_, now? Really, what makes you say that?"

"For starters," he hummed, skimming over a piece of paper Shitara handed him, "though we share the same ideals, my means have far more potential to be successful than yours."

Light raised an eyebrow. "But hypnosis is not the only way to control people. The Death Note also has that ability. Despite being confined to a period of twenty-three days, it can be used without having to appear in person."

Seemingly ignoring him, Hiyama chose another cookie. Butterscotch, it was; he didn't particularly enjoy the foreign flavours but it gave him something to do. "That may be true. However, the fact remains that my intention was to take a significant portion of the population and improve their lives by suppressing their negative memories."

"And erasing the rest of it as well," Light added viciously, disliking the lack of attention he was receiving. It was Ryuzaki all over again.

"True. It was for their benefit, and they did work as useful mouthpieces. This was my view and my plan, whereas you took upon the title of Kira and used death to keep people in line."

"I did not take upon the title of Kira; I'm not a _killer_, I'm bringing Justice to the community!"

Hiyama shrugged. "That still doesn't excuse the fact that you killed innocents to do so."

"You also did so; that Oosawa, wasn't it? He had been manipulated by you to suicide bomb himself and the parliament member Saeki, if I remember correctly."

"Just a death by another fellow human living off the scraps at the bottom of the barrel, wouldn't you agree?"

"Not exactly. The human race itself is to blame for its own faults, that is why it is necessary for someone to guide us in the correct direction."

"Really? And is it really necessary to kill in order to do so?"

"If that is what it takes, yes, but I think we'll never agree upon this matter," Light answered, placing his tea cup down. "How go your sales, inferior-copy-of-mine?"

Hiyama scowled. "I'm surprised you can even sell _any_ of your own series. You first kill off the fangirls' major piece of eye-candy in the first fifty-eight chapters and then stall for a few more, before causing the death of two of the most popular characters to ever exist and die before you can even write the letter 'r'. And this is not even breaching the subject of that annoying Amane Misa - how anyone can stand to read your series is beyond me."

"Amane Misa was just a tool for me to achieve my goals," Light answered tersely, and if either of the two geniuses noticed Takada's small smile they didn't show it. At that very moment, Light's cell phone rang. A quick check of Caller ID showed Misa's name.

Speak of the devil, and he doth appear.

Without pausing, Light pressed the reject button and tossed the phone to Mikami, who put it in his suitcase. He turned back to Hiyama, continuing the conversation as if nothing had happened. "Your series happens to mimic mine for the first fifteen chapters, and the reason _you_ have no fans is because _your_ series was serialized four years after mine."

Hiyama waved his hand dismissively. "Each to our own, I suppose."

Light nodded his head once without breaking eye-contact, reaching for his teacup again. "Each to our own."

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**A/N:**

Just because I felt like writing about the clichéd cup of tea. In case you hadn't noticed, I had no clue what I was going to write about until I did x3

No one's probably going to read this anyway...that's how rejected the Lost+Brain fandom is. Hiyama was right; I have no clue about Kuroshitsuji at all. I haven't started the series; I just needed a giant castle-like place for them to have tea and I thought of it. For those who don't know of Lost+Brain, I recommend it. Though it's incredibly similar to Death Note, there _are_ fundamental differences between the two series (unfortunately, you find this out about two-thirds of the way through).

- Sazerac

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If there's anyone even reading this, leave a review?  
(How else am I to know that you exist? :D)  
**l**  
**l**  
**V **


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